Bubble Butt
"I'm Bubble Butt and I'm famous around these parts. I've been here since 1989 and it's my responsibility to welcome all the newcomers. I was hit by a boat off of Long Key a long time ago. The boat hit left me with a permanent air bubble under my shell which causes me to float. So now I have a weight attached to me to help me swim. They call me Bubble Butt because I was the first documented case of Bubble-Butt Syndrome. Nobody makes fun of me though, since there are so many other 'bubble butts' in the pool like me."